Opposites Attract

Do opposites really attract? Well, if my sub and I are any example, I'd have to say Yes. We are so different in so many ways.

I'm messy, he's neat. I'm loud, he's quiet. I often need people around me to get out of a funk, he needs to be alone. I go out to eat, he cooks.

I believe opposites compliment each other.....at least on a superficial level. Like magnets we are drawn to each other. However, I sometimes wonder if we are drawn to each other because of our differences or in spite of them.

Yes, he's the calm to my storm. I'm the wild to his reserved. Do we see in each other the things that we lack in ourselves? Is that what makes us love each other? I think these things lead to an exciting relationship at first. My concern is whether these differences will keep us attracted to each other for the long haul or drive us apart.

They (our differences) have already caused problems for us. I can look on the bright side (like I normally try to do) and agree that they have required us to learn to communicate with each other. Well, we are still learning how to do that.

However, when I'm feeling a bit insecure about our relationship and need to talk, he might not be in the mood to talk. I can chat on the phone for hours and he is ready to get off in minutes. I know in my head that he needs his alone time. I try to respect that.

I wonder if he knows how hard it is for me to leave him alone when all I want is to be with him, or talk with him. This of course makes me wonder if the opposite is true for him. Does he talk to me, for me, when he really just wants to sit and veg out? Relationships involve sacrifices on both sides. Are we making unacknowledged sacrifices for each other? I don't mind making sacrifices for him. I imagine he doesn't mind making some for me. I just want us to both be aware when the other is making a sacrifice.

A while back we had a communication problem. He told me he would call and he didn't. Without holding back I expressed how unhappy that made me. I feel if you say you are going to call me, than you better call me. So he does that now. That first week he called every night and I began to feel like he was only talking to me out of obligation. (He wasn't instructed to call me every night, just to call when he said he would.) So I didn't allow him to call me for a few days.

He asked if he had done something wrong. Was I upset with him? No, he really had not done anything wrong. I was not upset with him. He was telling me he would call, and he was calling. I just felt like the voice on the phone was not happy to be talking to me. I would rather talk to you twice a week and have you happy to talk to me, than have you call every day just because you feel you should.

That is just an example of our differences.

I know I am jumping the gun, but I think about the future. What if we lived near by each other? (We are currently a 2 hour drive from each other.) Would I want to see him more than he would want to see me? Would he want more of my time than I want to give? How would our differences show up if we had to opportunity to see each other several times a week vs only a time or two a month?

Then I just jump further ahead and wonder about if we actually lived together. I have 3 large, furry, shedding dogs. They just might be better at making a mess than I am....and they NEVER clean up after themselves.

Would he go crazy living in the chaos that is my home? Would he drive me crazy with his cleaning? I have fantasies about living with someone who would clean up after me and my dogs, but I suspect he would grow weary of it quickly and then just become frustrated by the entire thing.

Would I feel rejected when he wanted to watch TV instead of do something with me? Would he feel pressured to always be UP for me?

I know there are people who would just say....I am the Domme and he is the sub and if he wants to be with me he should just put up with my way of life. Although on some level I agree with that. I don't really agree with it on a day to day basis. He is human. He is more than just a submissive. He is a person that needs time to be himself.

I know there are Dom/mes out there that say, This is my house and my rules. You can choose to live here and live by my rules or you can choose to leave. Perhaps if I only saw my submissive as a submissive and nothing more to me I could do that.

That's not all he is to me. He is so much more. He once wrote to me, "We are friends first, boyfriend and girlfriend second, Mistress and sub third."

I cherish his friendship! I hope that if 'we' don't work out, we will always be friends. I am friends with some of my ex's and my girlfriends ask how I manage to do that. It's not just me 'doing it'. It takes two civilized people to remain friends, but I try to remember there was a reason I fell in love with this person to begin with. I am typically a good judge of character. So there must be some good in that person that makes them a valuable friend.

I also cherish the man that is my 'boyfriend'. That is the part of him that can take control when I'm not feeling strong. That is the person who said we shouldn't play the night I was an emotional wreck.

(I had lost my confidence as his Mistress after he played with an ex Mistress of his. They have a connection and years of knowing each other that made that scene wonderful for both of them. She is a wonderful person. She was and is very respectful of my relationship with him. My problem came when he was turned back over to me and he was in such a blissful, euphoric state. How could I compete with that? How do I follow that act?)

Well, my 'boyfriend' stepped up to the plate, and reminded me there is more to our relationship than just Mistress and sub. He is the man that doesn't feel lost when I need to give up control for a while. He is the man that does some of the most deliciously nasty things to me that as a sub he might feel were wrong to do.

I also cherish my submissive. I cherish his submission to me. When he kneels before me there is no question who is in charge. There is no question that he will do as I ask. I have the power, not because I take it, but because he gives it. There can be no dominant without a submissive.

I guess that is what yin and yang is all about....complimenting each other. Opposites attracting. It makes it seem as though all will be well. I am not so sure, but I'm will to take this journey and see where it leads.

P.S. We're both kinky! That's one thing we have in common, a wonderful thing!