Staying Connected

As a person in a long distance D/s relationship, I often find it hard to stay connected with my submissive. Sure, we talk on the phone. However, depending on our moods, those talks are often more about our day to day lives.

It sometimes feels like the D/s of our relationship is put on hold. I try to find ways to keep us connected on a D/s level. To not just remind him I am his Mistress, but to make him feel it....and to make me feel he is my submissive.

One way in which I have done this is with his underwear. Okay, you're either smiling or raising an eyebrow! I have control of the underwear he wears....and for that matter if he wears any.

One day a couple of months ago we met halfway between his home and mine to go underwear shopping. I asked him to determine how many pairs realistically he needed. (Allowing for times when laundry can't be done and such.) He gave me a number and we went with that.

I wanted him to have several different styles for me to choose from. We ended up with briefs(cotton and satiny ones), boxer briefs and boxers(cotton and silky). I then added a thong, a string bikini (for men) and a couple pairs of ..... sort of like very short shorts, in a silky fabric. I don't believe any of these are white. I have a list of styles and colors.

I would like to say, I was originally planning on picking those I liked from what he had and then just adding to the collection. It was his idea to 'replace' all of his. Now, I know he still has his old underwear, and that's fine. I also know he only wears what we bought.

So on any given day when he gets out of his shower and reaches into his underwear drawer he knows that he is about to put on underwear that I have deemed desirable. He is allowed to wear any of the underwear, except when I tell him a specific pair. I think he rather likes it when I tell him which pair to wear. I believe it connects him to me even more. He is following an order I have given him.

Another way in which I have tried to remind him that despite the distance his Mistress is a part of his everyday life is to have him do push ups. Not many really. Currently he only has to do 5-10 a day. I think he first thought I didn't like his body. That is not the reason for the push ups. I love biceps. They don't have to be huge, just firm. His are firm. I am not sure he even knows I've noticed, but I have. Push ups will work not only his biceps, but most of his upper body.

This is not a hard assignment and it doesn't take much time. It does make him think of me. It reminds him I am in control. He is doing this for me. And let's not forget the fact that he is doing them on the floor, where most good submissives should spend a bit of time each day.

There are other things that I control in his life....well, at least one other thing. *wink*

I also like to give an assignment every now and then. I try to make them pretty easy to do. I don't want to add negative stress to his life. These assignments are often to connect us and sometimes just to please me.

I'd love to hear if others out in blog-land have ways of keeping their long distance relationships connected....or even ideas that they may not have tried yet.

Thank you.