LOVELY DAY

Today was just what I needed. As my posts have surely hinted at lately, I've been feeling very disconnected from my submissive. I could blame it all on him, but it wouldn't be fair. I even think he sometimes believes it is his fault. It's just a matter of our circumstances currently.

We have not been able to see each other for 2 weeks. I remember when we first started seeing each other 2 weeks was just about right. Well, apparently 2 weeks away from him, added with the stress that life tends to throw at us, was just too much. I have had a hard time the last week, missing him, dealing with some uncertainties in other areas of my life, and just in general feeling quite insecure about our relationship. I suspect I took some of that frustration out on him. I certainly aimed some of it in his direction in my own head.

Today was a chance to refocus and reconnect.

Today wasn't even a weekend together, it was hours, approximately 7 hours. We met in Sausalito, a small town just north of San Francisco. We chose that town mostly for the convenience. I have never been there before and still have little knowledge of what it has to offer a tourist.

We met up and I instantly felt I was where I needed to be. He was there to take care of me and attend to me and serve me and to put the stress of the last week behind me and to bring a smile to my face. He succeeded!!!

The first thing he did for me sounds sort of silly, but it really shows that he is really there for me, and wanting to take care of me and my needs. As we were talking on the phone, figuring out where I needed to go to find him, I mentioned having to pee. So first things first, when I found him he made sure I got to go. It sounds silly, but it isn't. He didn't say, 'can you hold it and we can drive here or there', he just made sure that my needs were taken care of.

So then it was back to my car to fetch my jackets, and boots I had brought. He told me he knew exactly what we were going to do today and it wasn't going to cost any money. (I've been very stressed about some financial issues lately. We originally were going to just walk the streets and window shop. He said he had a better idea than to spend time looking at things we couldn't afford.) He was right.... he had a MUCH better idea.

He drove me to the beach. It's a winding road through beautiful hills/mountains to the coast. A lovely drive with time for us to talk, and for me to look out at the scenery, that ended with us at a beach (where there was a restroom...just in case). You might have guessed by my screen name, I have a bit of an affinity for the ocean. So does my submissive.

Luckily, I had brought a sweatshirt and a jacket. It was cold and windy and I was bundled up and it couldn't have been more perfect for what ailed me. We just walked hand in hand talking, laughing, just being together. We ended up sitting on a log, eating his lunch, talking, kissing, wondering if my funny bird sounds were a mating call to the seagull that was looking for a handout.

Did anything spectacular happen? No, and yes. We didn't solve any of the world's problems. I am not sure we even solved any of our own, but we did connect. I talk a lot about connection. For me it is important. I was missing it, and wanting desperately to have it back. So in his 'little act' of taking me to the beach and just knowing me was spectacular for me. I fell in love all over again.

After a while we drove back to Sausalito and went to visit a friend of his and her live in slave. That was fascinating to me. Such a fantasy for so many people and here they are living it. It seemed to me, they are just like so many of us in alternative relationships...still figuring out as they go.

The four of us went for a snack at a little cafe, and for a walk along a harbour. It's nice to have kinky friends to spend time with. We didn't do anything kinky, other than talk about kink. It's just so nice to have someone that understands the nature of our relationship. To not have to pretend.

There were several times throughout the day when I reached over and pinched or squeezed my submissive, just to see his most delicious reactions. When were talking on the phone tonight after both getting home he confirmed/reminded me how much he loves to when I do that. He loves that I feel comfortable claiming what is mine whenever I wish. He has given his body to me. So although I can't exactly take it home with me, when we are together I can do just about anything I wish with it.

I can't seem to express how much today meant to me. I needed to be reminded that just because we don't talk everyday doesn't mean he doesn't think about me everyday. Just because he isn't able to kneel in front of me doesn't mean he is any less my submissive.

In 12 days I will come home from work to find him here waiting for me. I know I will miss him everyday between now and then. I miss him already. But I can and will be okay until then. Someone recently wrote in a blog something along the lines of ... a submissive's job is to reduce the stress of his Mistress. My sweet love, you have done that for me.

I love you. I adore you.

Your most contented Mistress.

P.S. I also adore and love hurting you.